Man’s Guide to finding a Mate
A Christian Sex and Relationship Manuel
Origins of Love Company
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Sincerely, Aedan Sayla
Copyright © 2018 by Aedan Sayla
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A Christian Man’s Guide to finding a Mate / Aedan Sayla. – First Edition
ID # 751-8-9532173-1-12
Available Erotic Christian Fiction Books
by Aedan Sayla
Note: Books written as Frank Carlyle can be found here.
The Huntsman – 2017
Man on Fire – 2018
Agent in Training, The Agents Series, Book 1 - 2018
Surrender’s Passion – Coming Soon
Agent in Training – Coming Soon
A Lady’s Value – Coming Soon
The Commander – Coming Soon
The Pirate’s Man – Coming Soon
Passion’s Survival – Coming Soon
Mercy’s Hope – Coming Soon
Dance For Me – Coming Soon
Wife of a Warrior – Coming Soon
A Christian Man’s Guide to finding a Mate – 2018
A Christian Man’s Guide to his Wife’s Breasts – Soon
A Christian Man’s Guide to his Wife’s Backside - Soon
Dedicated - to sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ
with Everyone! Sincerely, Aedan Sayla
I Corinthians 9:19 – 23
19 - Although I am a free man and not anyone’s slave, I have made myself a slave to everyone, in order to win more people.
20 - To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win Jews; to those under the law, like one under the law — though I myself am not under the law — to win those under the law.
21 - To those who are without that law, like one without the law — not being without God’s law but within Christ’s law — to win those without the law.
22 - To the weak I became weak, in order to win the weak. I have become all things to all people, so that I may by every possible means save some.
23 - Now I do all this because of the Gospel, so I may become a partner in its benefits.
― Source: Holman Bible Translation
This book is entirely subjective and based off of one man’s opinion. Any advice whether it be medical or otherwise, should be treated as the inspired thoughts of an ordinary man with no further initials or prefixes of any kind other than a checkmark for being a member of the human species with the ability to discuss his opinion about the experience of having both survived and thrived through the daily turmoil and pleasure that each day for continued life can bring.
Common sense is required. Just because I say something doesn’t mean it’s right.
Every individual is tasked to discern their own way to truth and no one should blindly believe anything without testing its authenticity and applicableness. For the Christian man and woman this is best achieved by employing the spiritual test of 1st John Chapter 4.
Jesus himself said the Word of God cannot be broken so if you don’t believe the Word of God in terms of discerning that matters of a spiritual nature can be as simple as the Apostle John laid out, then it’s very much in doubt that you possess a secure foundation in God, because if you can’t believe the Word of God and take it at face value then how do you even have the ability to please God, because without faith it is impossible to please God? You are therefore left with an empty hole where your spiritual/body should instead be filled with the confidence of the Spirit of God.
If you find this to be the case, please stop reading this book and pick up the Bible and work out your own salvation/faith with fear and trembling before continuing to learn something of importance to the second most important gift given to man other than salvation, which is the woman. Your first point of focus should always be God, and if you’re not in a loving relationship with the Author of all life, then how do you think you will ever understand and gain mastery over the woman, a secondary creation made to complement what was first spoken into existence by the Word of God.
A bit of perspective. The primary reason I’ve settled on writing a self-help book on the importance of finding the right mate is that I have had both the fortune and misfortune of marrying the wrong mate.
In totality all of my experiences are to the potential fortune of others, and because that is the case I am choosing to share what I have learned with you now. In essence, I have learned first-hand exactly what you do not want in a mate and everything that you do.
Sometimes having to suffer through hell can spell out what a more literal view of what heaven on earth should look like in the form of a woman and better yet how you should treat her in order to preserve harmony.
As men we all have ideals of what we think we want in a woman we select to be our mate. Some of them are good, some not so good, and some are downright flat hideously wrong.
I speak across many extremes in terms of combining the spiritual, mental and the physical aspects of a woman together. The problem, often not considered, is that instead of obsessing upon what the woman is or isn’t across all sectors of reality the thing we should be about as men is an intensive self-discovery process of exactly who we are.
In our inexperience with life we become caught up with what we want, and it makes us blind to what we should be wanting. For the Christian man a relationship with God should be above all else and yet many men look at women as if they are the completion of what they need to be whole in life.
There is much that is unseen and mysterious in this world and woman is a star player of both of those qualities. The male mind full of its testosterone and goal driven perception of reality is entirely unhelpful, if not downright hazardous to oneself in pursuing the finer points of realization of what a woman is really like and whether she is the right one for you.
Having a relationship with God first and foremost opens up an alliance that will see you avoid the surprises and pitfalls that women can represent to men, especially clueless ones who pursue women endlessly driven out of either an emotional want to not be alone or because of hormonal driven passion simply to get off. If you’re not secure in your emotional cortex of being, with God as the bedrock for your continued mental security, then you have no business acquiring a mate, because if you can’t lead her then she will lead you and that my friend is a road that leads to disaster and many heartbreaks.
If you’re driven by your hormones urging you to rut like an animal, then all you’ve achieved is to be like a dumb animal and chances are in the end you will either be used or slaughtered as a dumb animal. Every Christian man should be first and foremost a man of God and whatever work God gives you to perform in life should be the primary focus of your daily intent.
What does it mean to have God first and foremost above all else?
Well, it means for one you read the Word of God. You can’t know someone truly if you don’t know anything about them. If you want to know God you need to know what He said.
Another way into relationship with God is that you ask lots of questions. Not only do you ask lots of questions you also expect to receive answers to them and you do not give up until you do.
In essence, this pursuit of God is called faith and out of faith is born the framework of a man that can stand against all the fury and deceptions the world has to offer. This man is strong. This man has no limitations in terms of what he can achieve.
Because this is a man given over to the will of God, the Father, and his primary desire is to please his Divine Master. This man isn’t led like a bull to the slaughter when his eyes see the becoming ass of a girl which engenders the need to have its owner as his own.
This man instead sees the beauty of what was created to be beautiful and pleasurable, but instead of following after his eyes he first asks God “I want her. Can I have her?”
If the answer is ‘no’ then the strength of a sacrificially given over life rises up with help of the Spirit of God and that man walks away from what his eyes desire in the natural. There needs to be heavy emphasis put upon something here and it is this - there is no shame in being attracted to what was created to be beautiful.
In the current Christian church culture, that in many ways has become to be dominated entirely by feminist driven opinions, there is a great evil being done in the misrepresentation of what the Bible says is right and what is wrong when it comes to sexual attraction and need. Most mainstream church culture preaches to men that it’s wrong, even desperately wicked, to notice that hot ass or beautiful face or pair of breasts that fill out a bra just perfectly. It’s lustful to notice such things.
I entirely disagree with this notion because it goes against the very built in reality of how God created a male to be. To say that it is wrong for a male to notice what was made to be beautiful to him in the form and mannerisms of a female is to say that God made a mistake.
If you’re going to call something lustful then you are labeling it as sinful and if it actually isn’t by nature sinful then that goes against God who when He had completed creation said everything was good. The Bible even says in one passage, “Woe to those who call good, evil and evil, good”.
In general the term lust is a hijacked word in terms of what it actually means. If you take the initiative and look up Scripture and compare concordances and breakdown verses of the Bible in accordance with their parent languages, which are Hebrew and Greek, you will find across many spectrums that today’s concepts of what is being said in an English translated Bible can be a far cry from what is actually being meant in terms of the original context of how the Word of God was written.
Lust is just such an instance of mistranslation in terms of how it is viewed today by Western culture. In the wilderness, when the Torah or the Law, was given there were 10 Commandments and out of those 10 Commandments 613 rules developed.
What today is called lust can easily be hermetically linked to what its parent sin of those 10 original Commandments was, which is the sin of covetousness. Lust from a true Biblical perspective is directly derived from the sin of covetousness.
What is the sin of covetousness?
To describe the sin in a sexual sense it would be something like this. I see a girl that I think is hot and then I immediately begin plotting how I can use her for my own sexual gratification with no intention of marrying her mind you.
Plans in mind, I then set out to take something that doesn’t belong to me, with no thought of propriety, her self-interest, or any nobler aspirations other than to take something I want selfishly at all costs. That is covetousness explained in a sexual sense.
What is the alternative to it when you see a girl that attracts you?
So again, I see a girl and I notice the physical and perhaps even emotional attributes about her that totally turn me on. Have I coveted her yet?
The answer is ‘no’.
I have simply noticed her and yet Christian church culture would have you say that I have lusted for her. If I haven’t coveted her yet, then Biblically, I haven’t lusted over her yet.
Looking at a woman and imagining what her breasts would feel like in your hands or how she might feel clamped about your cock in the midst of an orgasm is still not an aspect of covetousness. To repeat, covetousness is the act of planning to take something that isn’t yours by means that aren’t legal or just.
Imagine an art gallery. What is the purpose of an art gallery?
It exists for people to go there and admire the art. So say you're standing in front of a picture of waves breaking on a seashore as seagulls flutter in the air above the surf and you’re struck by the utter beauty evoked from the scene painted on the canvas - is present church culture going to say that you’re lusting over that painting by admiring it for its beauty?
No, it is not.
Now if you are so taken by this painting you begin to think of ways that you can steal it for yourself so that you can look at it whenever you want, so that it’s yours, then you are being covetous, hence Biblically lusting over something that is not yours. Gazing at a beautiful woman is no different other than that she is a three dimensional being with more unique attributes of use and spirit then any 2D picture could ever boast of.
Another example, imagine a farmer looking at a field that doesn’t belong to him. What aspects of desirability is he evaluating that field for?
He’s imagining what kind of crops he could grow off of it based off of his perceptions of the quality of the soil, slope aspect of the site, available water, and so on and so on. In the same way the reality for a male, when looking at a female, and thinking that she is really good looking, what he is instinctually doing is evaluating her for child bearing, pleasure, companionship, ability to work hard as his helper, emotionally compatible with him as well as potential future children and so on and so on.
The problem in either case is what happens with the desire that is evoked by seeing something that you want. If that farmer driving by that field each day begins plotting and devising schemes to get the land and saying stuff to himself like, “It’s my land, someone else owns it, but it should be mine, because I want it. It’s not right that it’s not mine.” This is covetousness.
Again, I repeat, covetousness, is what lust is Biblically linked to. If you don’t believe me on this then you need to do your own word translation breakdown out of the Hebrew and in our modern age, it is very easy for you to do this without even leaving your computer.
Lust has become totally misrepresented by Christian church culture, to the point of the current day, where we have young men afraid to be male because of potential surface rejection by others and so instead driven by hormonal need, as well as the need to escape repression, they secretly look at what the church labels as porn and suffer in silence with the fear that they are desperately sinful, because they can’t help themselves and not look at the beauty that is woman. Reality check here – Women were made for men to look at and be excited by what they see!
When did the reality of this get lost and be replaced by a church culture that wants men to be breadwinners, leaders in the community, defenders of the helpless, actively feeding the homeless, but in marriage be tongue tied hamstrung individuals who are forced against their true dominant natures to usher out a constant plea bargain of, “Yes dear. Whatever you want honey. I’m sorry it’s all my fault.”
Yes, there is an aspect in life when men do make mistakes and they need to apologize and admit that they were wrong or other instances where it’s best to be non-incendiary in terms of avoiding a confrontation if it can be avoided providing that is the right thing to be done in the moment. But always, any action taken should be done out of a position of dominant strength bowing down to honor the desires of the weaker sex and not the aspect of a man that has given his authority away to a woman, who has become his slave master and determines when and how much he gets to eat at the fount of her femininity.
Getting back to covetousness and more importantly, how to avoid doing it. A better response for the farmer driving by that field that he would very much like to own would be, “God, I like that field. Can I have it?”
If the answer is ‘yes’ then God will make a way, a legal way, and if the answer is ‘no’ then the farmer needs to drive on and make no further plans about that field. We, as Christians, are to put all of our desires before the feet of God.
Simply put we are to be like children who don’t know what’s best for us at times and then at other times there is simply God’s will for us that can be drastically different than what we may want it to be. A better response for the godly man who sees that hot girl would be, “God, she’s beautiful! Can I have her as my mate?”
If the answer is ‘no’ then he needs to move on and make no further plans to acquire her beauty as his own possession, but in doing that it doesn’t mean that she’s not as beautiful as she always was to him just as that field the farmer drives by every day doesn’t look any less fertile than the day that he told God he’d like to have it.
Simply put the desire for anything we want is best given over to God and only acted upon with His approval. If you do this you will avoid lusting after anything and that is a very good thing in all areas of life and not just in the physical in relation to women.
There is an Old Testament reality about casual sex that godly men probably don’t know. Did you know that Biblically speaking any woman that you have had sex with and by that I mean intercourse and providing that the woman is unmarried you have in a Biblical sense just married her.
If the girl’s already married, then you just committed the sin of adultery. If after having had intercourse with the unmarried girl you choose not to have her as your wife you have committed the sin of fornication.
Simply put, when you become one flesh with an unmarried girl you have just married her in God’s eyes. The whole wedding ceremony with vowels or the legal marriage licenses gained from the courthouse don’t mean a hill of beans to God in terms of what He views as marriage.
Yes, wedding ceremonies are great and it’s good to have legal documentation proving that you’re not marrying your sister, but the reality Biblically speaking is that intercourse is the point of marriage with a woman. Don’t take my word for this but look it up and break it down yourself from the Word of God to see the truth for yourself, for there are many who would try to mislead you and make you believe something else other than the simple truth.
So what does this Biblical reality of marriage mean for godly men? It means you only have sex with a future wife and she’s your wife from the moment you have sex with her.
How do you know if the woman that you want to have sex with is the woman who should be your wife?
You ask God and then you wait for an answer in expectation of receiving one.
Now consider what might be the case for men who have a past of promiscuity of having had multiple girls that they’ve had sex with, but rejected in terms of not caring for as wives, what do they do?
They should ask for forgiveness and sin no more. It’s that simple.
So in closing its not wrong to notice beauty, it’s right to question her availability, it’s wrong to continue in pursuit after a woman God has said ‘no’ to, as well as pining away for something that will never be yours because God said ‘no’ to it. Anything man pursues in defiance of God’s will does not last and often ends in total destruction.
So if God closes a door the best thing to do is leave the door shut and walk away and make sure you’re walking away quickly.
I have personally dealt with attractive women that I knew weren’t going to be mine by frankly self-proclaiming something like this, “She’s beautiful, but she’s not mine. I hope she knows you God through Your Son Jesus and if she doesn’t I pray that she soon will. If it’s in Your will for her life I hope and pray that You provide her a good husband and that she lives a blessed life.”
If you’ve never proclaimed something like this as a man I encourage you to try it. It helps a lot in terms of taking away the awkwardness that you might feel around a very attractive woman that you know you’re not going to get given to you by God.
Loss of Reality
Can I be frank, well….. I really don’t need permission, so here goes. Christians have completely lost it when it comes to sexuality.
I know there are exceptions to this, as there are many things, but by and large Christians have lost touch with the reality of God’s intention for the creative force of sex to be employed and employed most passionately by those couples who have been gifted with being given to each other by God. Christians seek to teach the spiritually lost a better way through salvation in Jesus and while truly commendable in spirit there is also the reality of transferring a huge unwritten (and sometimes written) manual of do’s and don’ts in terms of being a Christian that are enforced right along with the Biblical concepts outlined in the Bible.
Only the do’’ and don’ts that are Biblically rooted are the ones to be cautious of and in obedience to thereof, but so and I mean so many other things like a church demanding that a member never gamble or drink alcohol, both of which the Bible never lists as sinful, to the carrying out of an elaborate charade of fairytale forgetfulness where everyone in the congregation acts as if it’s a mystery how babies come to be, happen weekly, if not hourly in today’s churches.
I will freely admit to some personal details in terms of my conservative upbringing in that I didn’t have a clue about sex or really why they were differences between men and women for quite a long time growing up as a boy. Mentally, I was a complete blank because no one ever talked about it and in terms of sensual passion I never saw an example of it.
Now, while growing up as a boy, my mind may have been clueless, but my instinctual God appointed bodily senses were not. I don’t know how old I was, maybe seven or eight, but I remember sneaking, again odd behavior because I literally didn’t know what sex was, my mom’s JCPenney catalogs and flipping to the lingerie section.
Honest truth, I had no idea why I was looking at women in bras. I simply had an innate desire to look at women as without clothing as much as possible and for some reason looking at these lingerie models satisfied something in me that at the time I couldn’t even begin to define or even know the reason thereof why I was doing it.
Like I said I was a genuinely clueless, very much conservatively raised, Christian boy, who was abruptly exposed to a much greater reality one night when I was 11 years old. I don’t know how this will be received, but that matters less than doing what’s right and what’s right is seeking to help other men or maybe boys reading this to appreciate that you’re not alone in terms of awkward sexual beginnings.
One night, when I was 11, I woke up out of a deep sleep to find my body hemorrhaging. At least that’s what it felt like to me.
I ran crying to the bathroom and looking down upon my member in horror I beheld white stuff coming out of it. Honestly, people, you may be laughing, but at that moment in time I literally thought I was dying.
To this day I think as terror filled moments go it still ranks in the top 10 that I have experienced in my life. Thank God the white stuff finally stopped and completely rattled beyond imagination I made my way downstairs to where my mother, always a night owl was still up and about doing things.
Crying I told her what had happened and my fear that I might be really sick. I will always remember how angry she got then.
At first I thought it was at me and then as she glanced at my father’s study desk, I could see that it was not me she was angry at. She told me to wait and left the room and coming back she gave me a little pamphlet that couldn’t have been more mukkedly goodie two shoes Christian garbage about how little boys and girls were made different and how it was bad to touch yourself and how it was bad to touch anybody else, but yet one day little boys and girls grew up and then after marriage it was okay for the boy to put his you know what in the girl and then God would make a baby, but in closing the pamphlet reiterated that we never talk about this with anyone, as that would be just rude and not make God happy.
As a conservatively raised Christian male I know that if this was my story, then there are readers out there with similar or even worse tales of their own. I remember lying in bed that night, after reading that useless little book, that I had this deep sense of having been left out in the dark about something very important and not liking it one bit as well as having the feeling of being completely embarrassed and beyond awkward feeling in terms of how to proceed in life.
Don’t get me wrong, I had wonderful parents, but they did a horrible job in this particular aspect of my upbringing. Anything about sex was never mentioned to me again by either of them and it didn’t need to because I had begun my own investigation.
An investigation often fraught with worry, shame, and a deep fear that I was abnormal in some way and even sinning by finding out exactly how God’s creation worked. How nice it would have been to have two parents that could have modeled appropriate passionate sexual chemistry for each other so that their own onlooking children were left in no doubt as to what healthy sex and attraction looked like so that the same could have been sought for and obtained one day in adulthood by said children.
Many Christian men today simply have no game by and large. Yes, I know there are exceptions, but how many Christian men, though really, even know what it is to be elementally male?
Not many I wager. I was there. I was one of them.
Yes, I am male and I can speak of my experiences. I wore an usher suit jacket for many years.
I opened the church doors and greeted people into the church serving as an usher to the tune of many endearing, “Oh what a wonderful young man you are.”
We would all sit down.
We would all smile and many would incessantly chat before being cut off by the announcer or worship crew.
We would sing songs.
During this time wonderful young man can’t stop looking at young beautiful female song leader grinding about on stage with her full breasts bumping into her tight knit sweater.
Bad…. bad young man.
Young man should be different.
Young man needs to keep being wonderful and not so lustful.
Young man heroically denies natural urges and makes himself smile and looks anywhere but at the young, beautiful song leader, even at the floor, while working hard at being, ‘Mr. Nice Guy.’ Because Nice Guys don’t look, they don’t behave unseemly, they don’t lust, they don’t make eye contact for long, they……….. don’t have a life.
They don’t have a life because they willingly emasculate themselves in order to please a cultural norm of feminist, empowered blindness were fathers stopped being warriors and mothers succeeded them in terms of being monopolies of peace, tranquility, and the tight control of all things masculine in order to keep the men in line.
I’ve spent too many years of my life as a Christian Nice Guy. To any who fit the bill reading this of being a Nice Guy, please ditch the act because it is toxic for you, and it is slowly strangling the very life out of your chest.
Be a man.
Don’t just be a man, be a dominant man.
Pray for a mate and when you find her dominate her.
Lead her. Pleasure her. Make a family with her. Love her always.
A Nice Guy will never succeed in finding this happiness, because he is doomed by the fact that he doesn’t even know himself. In fact, I would wager that he doesn’t know God well either, because often he’s with the wrong woman.
In general, he doesn’t know what his role in a family should be other than, ‘Make lots of money’ as if that was an answer to anything of true significance in life. He doesn’t know anything about pleasure, let alone happiness, because while he’s always striving and striving to give and give of all of these things to his mate he likely gets less and less of either in return, because women at heart were made to be dominated and to disrespect what is not able to dominate.
If a woman isn’t dominated then all a man to them is a paycheck, as well as a chronic liability of having to keep them on the straight and narrow path of firm control, so that the paycheck keeps coming. Yes, I am generalizing a bit, as there are many women who are faithful as the day is long to care for husbands who can no longer care for themselves physically or mentally, but even in this the question bears asking, “What was their relationship like prior to the debilitating disability currently being suffered by the male?”
To men, who are ‘Nice Guys’ looking for a mate, I implore you - you don’t want the former outcome!
I’ve been there. It’s absolute hell and if it weren’t for the Grace of God that woke me up out of the dream state cycle of drudgery I was enslaved in I would likely be dead by now.
The here and now is a completely different story though. Now I am exactly as God created me to be.
I am a divinely purposed man capable performing amazing feats through the power of the blood of Jesus that is active and alive throughout all sectors of my life and that has set me free from both prisons cast upon me and those that were self-inflicted.
I am a man. I have a man’s needs. A man’s dominant desires. I am me.
I am the way I was created to be. I am now free.
Though attacks come I greet them with the authority of a whole individual and not that of a clueless individual, paired with a false image of seeking to be a Nice Guy who should never have come to exist to be in terms of stripped down emotions and urge denied sexual pinings of unexpressed need. The ultimate end stage of a married Nice Guy is either a shortened and often miserable life or worse yet, spiritual death, when that man out of desperation to escape commits sin that separates him from God.
This is what can happen to you if you don’t find the right mate and if you’re not right with God in the first place, then you have no chance of finding the right mate and even if you did you would sadly misuse her. It may seem to some that I do not like women and I assure you that this is not the case.
It’s simply that if you don’t lead your mate, then bet your bottom dollar she will pick up the reins and do so and whose fault is that but your own. When she becomes the one in charge she becomes something that she was never supposed to be and without an act of God, there is no hope of changing her and regaining your respect and position of divinely appointed authority over her.
She will resist any such change in you at every turn and label it with statements such as, “I’m not sure I can trust you, remember how you…… blah blah blah. A woman with the bit in her teeth is as uncontrollable as a willful horse that doesn’t respect its master.
It goes where it wants to and if you resist it will do its best to buck you off. It may even trample you into the dirt.
To save its own cushy place in the stable, though it may come back and act as sweet as candy to you for a while. Just as animals can be manipulative, so can women be so, only much more so.
Again, it may sound like I hate women, but again, I assure you that I do not. What I hate is what happens when women become out of order and no longer function in their God appointed roles as man’s helpmate.
Too often I believe it is a weak man who is to blame for this transformation of the woman into a willful shemale that is no longer useful to society other than to serve as a disruptive force from within it that seeks to destroy it and build an empire of its own in the ashes of what once had been a divinely appointed order of being once called good. I freely admit to my own duplicity in this and I encourage all men reading this in that you can change or should I say revert back to your natural self, but it takes help and again if you don’t have that close relationship with God in place then well…… you’re pretty much on your own and that my friend is not a good place to be.
Are you looking for mommy?
Face it Christian men, in your need for a mate are you looking for a woman who will help order and orchestrate your daily life like it once was once upon a time not that long ago. Are you looking for a second mommy?
Again, I admit, that at the time I was. I didn’t really know it, but I was.
What a terrible mistake. One that you have to go through hell in order to wake up from.
The reality is this, if you’re looking for a woman to in part fill the role of order you once had impacted upon you by your mother you will select the wrong woman to be your mate every time!
Yes, it is good to have order and a woman with prudence and discipline is to be highly praised, but if you don’t have such qualities already in existence and at play in your own life then once again you have no business looking for a mate. The finer qualities of discipline to be desired in a mate should only be an offshoot of who you already are at heart so that you can lead by example and not be the follower.
The benefit of being a leader with a prudent wife is that when she does have insights, greater than your own personal wisdom you will recognize it and alter the course of the ship of your marriage accordingly without ever having taken your hands off the wheel of destiny. This helpfulness on the part of a woman is the glory of what it is like to have a helpmate.
Women were divinely appointed to be our helpers and they have gifts to help us find our way through life, but never should it be where we make them the captain of the ship and go below decks because the pressure of leadership is just too much for us. Respect once lost is hard to get back.
Don’t look for mommy in a mate. Again, this is why you need God’s help to find the right mate as there are just too many pitfalls we men can fall into when we subjectively evaluate women based on our own recognizance or even the advice of friends and family members.
I’m not saying to discount the advice given by friends or family members, as it is often quite helpful, but first and foremost God should be your primary source of advice as to how you direct the path of your life.
What’s your level of desire?
Are you looking for a sidekick buddy? Someone to go fishing with you? Someone who will make every moment of your life busy so you don’t feel alone?
Say you find this girl and the two of you are say joined together at the hip, quite literally, and you do everything with her and life becomes a grand party. Now imagine two different scenarios.
One is that she has a debilitating accident and is confined to a wheelchair and she can’t go with you anymore and do things spontaneously. The other scenario, she gets pregnant and bares you a child, a child that draws her away from giving you as much attention as previously, as children are big energy consumers and require a lot of a mother’s time.
If constant companionship was your goal in marriage with either of these two scenarios you’ve lost it. In the first you will come to resent her illness as a thief of your joy and in turn you will come to not care for her needs as you should.
In the second scenario you will bitterly resent your own children for stealing your playmate from you. If this constant need for attention and fulfillment is you, right now in life, then I respectfully tell you right now that you are not ready to have a wife.
A wife is not the answer to loneliness. Yes, it seems so to a great extent, but true loneliness is more a factor of your own character flaws in that you manifest a persona that doesn’t attract other people to get close to you.
You do nothing for others. In actual reality you are a taker and you only give when out of personal abundance of energy you see a benefit of doing so in order to ensure that your high feel-good energy level remains so.
Far too many men can be classified as this selfish and completely self-centered arch type. The answer and solution to what is badly wrong with you as a human is that you don’t have a close relationship with God. It’s that simple and that complex.
The closer you get to God the less of you there will come to exist. The more like God you become, the more love, you will have in your life for others and tenderness toward their situations.
When children are born you will rejoice and draw even nearer to your wife as you help her with them. When tragedies occur, you will be the mate that sacrificially does for the other what the other can no longer do for herself at the moment.
The antidote for loneliness is a loving heart. Think about it lonely men, what kind of woman do you constantly seek for?
A woman with a loving heart?
You look for her with the intent of a coldhearted day anxious to feel the heat of a warm sun. When you find that sun and soak up its warmth what in turn do you impart back in terms of relationship?
The answer is nothing. In actuality all you have done is take something truly fine away from the light to a dark place where you consume upon it repetitively until it has nothing left to give and then depleted of energy and life you cast her to the wayside and say, “It’s all your fault that I’m not happy.”
You, my friend, are the classic example of a male narcissist. You need help and God is the key to a change in your life occurring as well as your perspective of life in general.
Just as there are male narcissists, there are also female narcissists, and they are just as vicious self-centered of nature as the male ones are. Again the only way both men and women can be assured of finding the right mate is to have a relationship with God, because our eyes are easily deceived by the wolves in sheep's clothing who are only too voraciously hungry for the life inside of us, that they will go to any and all attempts to acquire as their personal energy source.
Be the Wolf
What do I mean?
Well, what do you think of doing when you see that girl that is above all others in your estimation? You want to…… ‘be with her’, yes, I know, but…… do you want to mate her?
Sure you do, but is it an overwhelming urge, a heady desire that keeps you up at night, and makes taking cold showers a necessity? If it’s not, then you shouldn’t be pursuing anything more with the woman.
Why do I say this? Someone is going to say, “Well, you know, sex isn’t everything!”
Yes, that is very true, but when we as males pursue a woman out of an emotional basis of unction that is not also strongly reciprocated in our base male DNA coding then you should be hearing alarm bells going off. Emotions and feel-good interactions that leave one lovey-dovey are the building blocks of deceptions.
Instincts rarely lie. Instincts are there to not only keep the human species procreating, but focused down to an individual level, there also there meant to just keep you alive and living happily.
Do not ignore the warning signs of your base male programming. If you literally don’t have a physical problem of keeping your hands off of her or don’t entertain thoughts of how wonderful it will be to be ramming away inside of her then you certainly shouldn’t be entertaining her as a candidate to be spending the rest of your life with.
It’s fine to disagree with me, but I tell you truly, if your body is not falling for the visual cues she has to offer and is not making it hard for you to maintain focus when you are around her then something is badly wrong in paradise and guess what, it might have everything to do with you and nothing to do with her.
We live in a time period of self-gratification. Life isn’t about sharing it anymore so much as it is a pursuit of experiencing more and more of it for one’s own gratification.
If this is your focus in life, then the children you sire can be a real drag and that simply isn’t fair to them or your mate, who you may also come to see as slowing you down. When did we as humans get away from our most sacred duty and purpose of dying to self and seeding into life the next generation, only to then invest everything of ourselves to ensuring the success and gratification of that new generation?
People today are worried about overpopulation of the Earth. What bunk!
Statistically you could fit every person in the world into the state of Texas and give each one of them a quarter acre of land to live on. Well, you may retort with, “But there’s not enough food for everyone!”
Wrong, there’s never been a problem with growing enough food for everyone, the problem has always been in transporting the food to where it needs to go, along with the meddling of certain governments that always ensure that some nations never rise to the capability level of being able to take care of themselves without outside meddling of their state of public affairs intent upon keeping them weak and technologically backward. Again, you might say, “Oh, but there’s not enough energy to keep everyone’s needs met!”
Years ago, maybe twenty by now, there was an inventor. He was a high school dropout, but he had this idea and he pursued it and geniusly invented a compact hydrogen molecule separator module that cost $1500 and that could easily be retrofitted into any make or model of vehicle, whether gasoline or diesel powered.
The module enabled the vehicle to run off water. Tap water, mud puddle water, dehumidifier water, and even seawater. There were zero harmful emissions and it was typical to get 80 miles to a gallon of water.
He attracted a lot of publicity, even had a televised water driven drive across America that was covered coast to coast by mainstream media outlets. So what happened?
Well, the military had a talk with him and after them came the committee from the UN, who had a lunch meeting at Cracker Barrel with him for no doubt the sole purpose of pushing the proverbial finger back into the leaking dike of what is modern oil-based economics. The inventor fled the restaurant and stumbling into the street, he fell into his brother’s arms in the parking lot and before he died, he told his brother, “They poisoned me!”
His research, his patents pending, everything vanished overnight and to this day those who own vehicles pay thousands each year just to fuel them up, even as taxes are raised to pay for air quality management procedures. This is but one story of many that illustrates that there is indeed a purposeful cover-up in terms of ways of powering humanity that are low cost if they have any cost at all.
There is absolutely no reason to ever fear overpopulation of the Earth. It is a myth perpetrated by those who hate both humans and God.
God’s mandate to mankind was to have dominion over the Earth, to be fruitful and multiply. That mandate has never changed, but what do we see in Christian communities?
A plethora of birth control options and even abortions. God made a woman to be a receptacle of a man’s seed. I intend to write another book on this, but for now I will just keep it simple.
Do you know that just one of the many things that a man’s semen does inside of a woman is to act as a mood enhancer? Semen can literally lift a woman’s depression and make her feel happy.
Do you know that beyond the potential of just creating offspring your seed placed in your woman binds her emotionally and physically to you and actually works to keep her faithful to you?
Do you know that the cure for morning sickness during pregnancy is for her to swallow your semen so her body can get acclimated to your semen (sperm) and stop provoking an immune response in association to your part (sperm) of the fertilized embryo that her body is erroneously seeing as a foreign invader?
On top of this during a time when women need more protein than ever to ward off dangerous conditions like pre-clampsia, that they, by ingesting your semen are getting the equivalent of the protein to be found in the yokes of I believe up to 10 chicken eggs, not to mention all the other trace nutrients she needs like zinc and calcium.
~~~~~~~~~~ Intentional Off-Topic Wisdom Insertion (that will have its own book one day) ~~~~~~~~~~
As an author of Erotic Christian fiction I have been drawing flak because of one thing in particular, which is the inclusion of anal sex between a man and his woman in some of my stories. Do you know that there is research that shows that the most positive and profound of all health and bonding impacts a man’s semen can have on a woman are best achieved by depositing it into her anally where it is quickly absorbed into her bloodstream with an almost narcotic buzz effect resulting in her body chemistry towards her mate?
Many will say that anal sex is a homosexual practice, but remember they once said this about oral sex. The important thing to remember is to look at the facts, just as you should base your faith on what the Bible says and only on what it says, you should also evaluate the same in terms of natural processes that clearly show divine intention in terms of positive outcomes of practice and health.
In regards to anal sex and semen it’s also spoken against by those not knowledgeable on the topic that it’s a waste of the man’s seed. Studies are showing quite the opposite though in that semen left to naturally absorb into the soft lining of a female’s rectum/lower colon provokes a resultant state of hyper fertility on her part, which in essence greatly increases the chances of a pregnancy occurring the next time her mate comes in her vaginal canal.
Things like this simply need to be talked about, because as Christian men you have likely never heard them before and the truth is you are missing out on all God intended for you to enjoy in marriage. The plain truth about anal sex with your woman is that there is simply no greater way to physically, mentally and yes, even spiritually, dominate her other than through this one act alone and yes, there is the potential to hurt her in a way like no other so be as masterful over yourself as much as you wish to master her and make the experience painless for her so she can hopefully experience the orgasm that many women state as being the most powerful of the several kinds women are able to achieve.
Did I mention that a woman’s anus is only 2cm away from her vagina? Now why on Earth would God do that as well as surround her anal canal with as many pleasure nerves as there are to be found in her clitoral body, which indeed has pleasure cord strands that wrap around both of her entrances like a figure 8. The argument of it being an exit only and suitable for only one thing is sadly blown away when one takes in the multi-function capacity crafted into all functions of the human body by a Creator who knew exactly what He was doing when He made women with the ability to explosively orgasm in an often unexplored part of their body, while on the other hand with men He endowed an intense need to both dominate and respond favorably to tightness in general.
Incidentally the biggest hang up for women to enjoy the practice is the mental inability to fully submit to their mate and trust him with literally everything, while in turn there are the males that aren’t yet true men and don’t realize that in seeing to the pleasure of their woman they in turn love themselves. So please men, don’t just shove it in, because this lack of control on your part only witnesses to the reality that you don’t yet truly possess the control needed to lead your mate into ecstasy across every level of marital intimacy and companionship of spirit.
~~~~~~~~~~Back on Topic~~~~~~~~
Do you know that the quality of your diet affects the quality of your semen and if your diet sucks then she will literally get turned off of you because you’re spewing poison into her that her body has to treat as chemical waste?
On the flip side, if you are living a healthy life you can literally lift the health of your wife right alongside of you just by sharing part of the essence of who you are with her. In return do you know that coming in contact with a healthy woman’s vaginal juices, whether orally consumed or absorbed through your skin is the healthiest probiotic enhanced formula that a man could ask for in terms of one that will keep him healthy and free of many digestive and other issues that men are prone to?
We’re not even going to delve into the benefits to be achieved for you as a male by consuming her breast milk. Once again better reserved for its own book, which should not be too long in the making and will be entitled, A Christian Man’s Guide to his Wife’s Breasts. Yes, the previous off topic inclusion will have its own book too one day, A Christian Man’s Guide to his Wife’s Backside.
All of the positives of semen placed in your woman as well as you coming in contact with her un-fooled around with body induced lubrication juices are lost when you slip that condom on or her hormonal system is put out of whack due to chemicals meant to make it so. How many Christian women are there who were put on a pill either by themselves or their parents for the sake of the convenience of not conceiving children, a treatment that not only changes their mood, but destroys their natural artistic expression as females to a large extent, as well as one that also damages their organs and acts as a precursor to certain illnesses and disorders.
Look at what happens when we walk away from God’s simple command of being fruitful and multiplying. Chaos and disorder reigns.
People termed as nice are in fact mass murderers of their own children time and time again. Today marriage is about the couple and children are an afterthought or perhaps even a plague to be suffered through the rearing of.
There has been a complete fundamental reversal in terms of what society prizes most. Rearing the next generation versus pleasuring and pampering oneself for the maximum amount of time available.
If you as a male have no desire for seeding children into existence and then dutifully raising them to maturity then please do not get married. Marriage isn’t about the sex you get from the relationship or even the companionship.
Sex and the pleasure received from it along with companionship are but byproducts of the real purpose of sexual union which is the creation of new life. New souls.
When did we forget that God is the creator of all new human souls? Is an unexpected pregnancy really unexpected when you take into account how God has already been at work since before time began, in terms of the crafting of the as yet unborn eternal soul already in existence in the mother’s womb?
That sex is pleasurable is completely antidotal to the reality that it is foremost a means by which to create something new. Couples should be having babies left and right and be proud about it, but instead they take pills and encase themselves in commercially toxic materials so they can preserve precious uninterrupted time for their own needs and self-interests.
Any culture that attains to this level of self-imposed obsession is a dying one and I mean that quite literally. To be the wolf I quite literally mean that as the alpha leader of your pack you should be in ready acceptance of the reality that mounting your mate in the act of procreation may and should result in offspring and as an individual you should be seeing that as a good thing.
Children are a gift from the Lord, not a curse, and not something to be purposefully avoided. If the sole purpose of your desire for a woman is based out of the need for sex and companionship then I question the Biblical validity of whether you should acquire a mate at all.
Reason being is because your mindset is in denial of the basic created reality for men and women to come together and be fruitful when intimate. Only in our superficial modern reality has the notion of, “We’ll worry about children later, sometime in the future anyway, but for now it’s all about us baby girl.” existed.
In no healthy past or currently thriving culture has this ever been the case. In fact the reality of our modern era has all the trademarks of a plummeting juggernaut already on its way to being smashed to pieces at the bottom of a deep gorge called reality in focus.
How many couples do you know that have trouble conceiving children? There are a lot of them and the numbers are growing exponentially.
Look around and take in all the fertility clinics and ad hoc get pregnant mumbo-jumbo and you might wake up to an ‘uh oh’ moment and realize that at least in the modern sectors of human society we are witnessing the progression of its literal death, which is only being staved off by artificial means which are working for the moment.
Women are increasingly infertile in the developed world and the sperm count of men has literally plummeted to where one study result of men in New York City showed a range of about 50 million sperm per an ejaculation. Healthy males should have no less than a minimum of 250 million sperm per an ejaculation and the numbers can go way higher than that.
The other question not being answered is what is the condition of this remaining 50 million sperm? Mark my words, if things continue as they are, the couple who can still manage to naturally breed and give birth to a healthy offspring will be the most prized and worshiped commodity in the world.
The 2006 movie entitled, “Children of Men” is an excellent example of how things may come to be one day in concern to a lot of people. Without children there is no human civilization and as a Christian male maybe it’s time you woke up to the fact that there really are dark spiritual forces only to concerted in their efforts to bring mankind to a screeching halt.
Also to be considered is the reality that the more humans there come to be on this Earth the harder they become to control, so hence the need for seeding notions of overpopulation worries and oh don’t worry about all the Wi-Fi and EMF frequency waves pinging all around in your house, your jobsite, literally everywhere that are systematically damaging your DNA and altering normal healthy bodily functions that directly affect the health of both eggs and sperm in terms of what the next generation will come to be, if it comes to be at all. By all means keep playing incessantly with your smart phone and sit that laptop or flipbook in your lap for hours.
So the day comes when you’re finally ready to share your existence with a child and you actively go about trying to achieve it with your mate, which provokes her body to adjust to going off the pill that it has become addicted to or whatever other device that has been constantly nuking life – maybe you even focus on eating better or not as the case may be – what happens when nothing happens?
In that moment you will recognize the enormity of what it is that you have lost. Your most tangible future upon Earth after you’re gone is now a figment of your imagination and a history that will never be recorded.
Something you really need to do before pursuing a mate at all is to ask God if He even wants you to do that. Some men are called to have families and raise children. Others are called to remain abstinent, virgins if you will, held in sanctity before God.
Being a virgin for God can be a scary notion to consider for a man, who wants to enjoy the pleasures of sex, but if having sex is going to separate you from God’s best plan for your life, then I say you better turn back and listen to Him because His path is always better than any course you might chart for yourself. Yes, serving God can and will bring an individual moments of great sacrifice, but it can also bring true fulfillment and meaning to what otherwise may have been just a so-so or even seemingly meaningless existence.
So in closing, if you want to mate, then expect children. The alpha wolf and his mate, don’t exist for the benefit of themselves, yes they have lifelong companionship and they would defend each other to the death, but everything else that they do other than feeding themselves is to the benefit of feeding, protecting, and rearing their offspring.
Year after year they do this through the pages of their lives. Humans are called by God to do nothing less than this.
Now before I’m accused of being like a Catholic with a hard line on no birth control, let me say that I am not. Humans and wolves are not the same.
From personal experience I can attest to the fact that ideally a woman’s body should have at least a two-year rest period between pregnancies. If as a couple you elect to not have sex during her fertile time of the month, then more power to you, but the point I’m trying to make is it should be because of a short-term decision and not out of the perspective of, ‘No, we’re not having kids ever!’ attitude.
And as the age-old adage goes, which I have found to be true in my own life, ‘If you’re waiting to have kids until you can afford them then you will never have them.’ I couldn’t afford my kids and yet I had them and you know what, God has never let us starve, they’ve never been without clothing, and we’ve always had a place to call as our home. God is faithful to those who listen and do His commandments.
Now there are situations where a woman’s life becomes put in jeopardy by the possibility of another pregnancy. My opinion and that is all that it is, is that the preference needs to be given to the one living, which may result in one of you getting neutered and frankly I would say it should be the woman and not the male, because the dirty secret men aren’t told about vasectomies is that situations may arise where your body is continuously pumping seminal fluid directly into your bloodstream via the cut tubes to your testicles which in turn your body then becomes to view as a foreign infectious agent and thus ensues a long war caged within your own body that can lead to autoimmune diseases and a much shorter lifespan.
In any regard pray about all matters, but don’t get married if you want nothing to do with God’s ultimate plan for marriage, unless He tells you different. Always listen to God first and personally evaluate the words of men on a second tier level of importance.
How to evaluate a future Mate
Okay, many will call this chapter subjective and it is. Read it at your own risk.
How do you evaluate the spiritual worthiness of a prospective mate?
Answer: You can’t!
Whatever clues you may think you see could in turn be clever deceptions. Assuming your meeting this girl in some context of a church setting being in the background just imagine how many people you meet at church that act, say, and advise in a certain manner deemed pious, only to swear like sailors and cheat and steal from their fellow man the rest of the week?
Again, this is where your eyes deceive, you, men. Just because she looks good enough to eat and sits in a church pew just fine with all the appropriate mannerisms of a good girl, doesn’t mean she isn’t a snake in the grass trying to slither her way into paradise.
First and foremost, do not trust your eyes, and above all else, do not rely on your emotions to direct you. Ask God, pure and simple and don’t act on anything until He gives you an answer.
Now comes the subjective part of this chapter. If I took every marriage aged girl in the church and lined them up do you think you’re obligated to ask God over each and every one of them as to her being wife material for you or not?
My answer would be, generally not, but it doesn’t hurt to ask God to make sure though. Remember the roll call through Jesse’s sons was necessary to finally arrive at David, whose father thought so little of as to not even send for him from the start.
So if we for the moment assume that the whole herd of eligible females doesn’t have to be quantified as yes or no objectives and you being the male you are at heart are free to hunt and seek to divide out of the pack and make a laser lock on a particular girl providing of course you confirmed your actions are indeed warranted by direct conference with God – what do you look for?
Now I know it would be the Nice Guy thing to say, “Oh purity, peacefulness, a kind heart…….hold the phone…… yes, all very important qualities, but…… what are you? A delicate gentleman from the Victorian era that goes to sleep in your dressing gown and dreams of strolls by the pond and all things sweet and nice?
Good grief, I hope not!
Manners are indeed essential to life.
Gowns are beautiful when they are worn by women.
Strolls through nature truly sublime, but if you are that most dreaded product of a feminized society a.k.a. Nice Guy, STOP!!!
I mean it, stop!
Take this as well meant advice from the heart of a former Nice Guy. Women don’t need a Nice Guy. They need a man.
Nice Guys only know how to be passionate with a woman up until the point of asking their dearly beloved, “Is it all right if I do this? – Can we do that? – Would you mind……” Lead your woman for pity’s sake and do your will with her!
If you act the former you risk all loss of respect by her for you. If you act the latter, then I tell you that she will lay panting on the sheets gripped by a second or third orgasm as you master her body and dominate her will.
Am I advocating that you be an uncaring beast? Yes, actually, but only in concern to being consistently assertive of your dominance. She is yours and her body belongs to you, but that leaves no room to demean her value as a person or physically abuse her, because remember whatever you do to her you do to yourself.
Now a test if you will. So you have this innocent, shy girl who looks like she’s as precious as the clear driven snow and indeed it is this very innocence that she has about her that attracts you in, part – it’s addictive, it makes you want to possess it for yourself, make it yours so to speak, all well and good in terms of witnessing of the reality of a healthy male mind in good working order.
Carry it a step further. Imagine you at your most passionate physical state of arousal and then empathetically picture yourself in the shoes of this girl that you think is sweeter than peaches.
Say your fantasy’s a dominant styled one and you’ve got her on her knees and your ramming away into her from behind or maybe you’ve got her before you and your thrusting your cock into her mouth while gripping her hair. Both scenarios depict rougher than average sex, but nonetheless they reflect a healthy level of the passion that you feel as a male.
You have your part in the drama well in mind, but now evaluate the situation from her perspective, the way you think she would experience it. Is she really going to get down on her knees and meekly suck your cock, even look up at you with eyes full of desire asking for more or…… or is the very notion of anything like that going to come across to her as simply being utter perversion, because it’s too passionate, requires too much of her, and simply isn’t a nice thing for you to do to someone let alone her because it is demeaning to her sense of how she has been raised to think she should be treated?
My advice to you amigo is if the latter is the case, then you should keep looking. Maybe with prayer some fire will come to her and she’ll change, but if you pursue her knowing she’s not the type who will ever willingly submit to you as a man, but always be telling you that she will inform her mother or father or even the pastor of your presumptuousness to do whatever it is you want to do with her, then it’s all on you, because you knew better from the beginning.
Such a woman will even say that you need counseling, because you’re simply not normal. You’re not a nice, normal tamed sort of guy.
Life with such a woman as this barring a supernatural intervention will be one filled with frustrated passion and never realized upon hopes and you will be stuck in the unenviable position of being a male who is never allowed to be himself and indeed may forget entirely what self-expression is. The marriage will become sexless or at least only on her terms and there is not one biblically motivated point of fact to deem that such a relationship is in any part an aspect of God’s will for mankind to ever experience. Quite the opposite actually.
Who you need to look for is the girl who: A) – likes men and thinks you’re funny. B) – thinks you should stay as you are and listens to you when you speak. She may even ask you your opinion on things and stranger yet she may then take your advice and put it into action in whatever her situation may be. C) – wants to go and be wherever you’re at, even if she has to make up ridiculous excuses to achieve the coveted position of being in close proximity to you.
This girl will get on her knees and welcome you home at the end of a hard day’s work by undoing your pants and kissing the part of you that you yearn the most to have appreciated and kissed by your woman. She’s the girl who, after years have gone by and children have screamed all day and dinner got burnt will crook her finger in a silent come-hither motion at you and pull you around the corner and bend over and let you have a quickie because you simply need the release.
These kind of women get men, they understand us very well and they are truly rare. They are also extremely wise.
Their husbands don’t look elsewhere. As women they get held and stroked with cherishment all night long and anything they ask for their men seek to move heaven and earth to accomplish it and often don’t rest until it’s done to the most exacting of standards, because she is worth every effort on their part to please.
Just what is it that these women do that gets these finer qualities out of men that most women, at least half normal ones, want to desperately find in a mate?
The answer is that they simply allow men to be themselves in all of their natural glory. It’s that simple.
They don’t play head games, they don’t lie, they don’t cheat, and above all they don’t abandon their men to neglect or ridicule of any kind. They are fully submitted to their men and yet in a way in charge of everything.
They are intensely envied by other women, whose husbands ask permission to go upstairs with them so they can have their clothes taken off by a guy who neither excites them or has much of any chance of pleasing them. What these envious women don’t see is that they got exactly what they asked for, something not quite male, but still in possession of a penis, with a strong enough back to make money in order to fuel the lifecycle of proverbial drudgery that they don’t feel does them justice, because always they deserve more than they’ve been given.
Meanwhile the ideal wife is lying flat on her back as her husband’s face is buried between her legs and is crying out with joy, “I don’t deserve you honey!” Meanwhile, in his mind, he can’t imagine what on Earth it is she is talking about, because she has given him more than he ever wanted and life for him is the endless pursuit of seeking to bring her joy and security.
These women to start out are often called wanton and indeed she may kiss you first and tease you just to see you blush, but free-spirited as she may be, in you she sees the stud who will stand guard and keep her safe in order for her to be herself and enjoy the reality of being wanted and prized above all else, even as in return she seeks to give back everything that is naturally her and that you vitally need as a male.
You are definitely going to need God’s help in the pursuit of such a woman and it is very critical that you say ‘no’ when it needs to be said. The tendency is to do nothing that might drive the amazing creature she is away so that some other man can drink of her nectar, but at heart women need guidance and at times a solid “no” is needed and trust me she will love you all the more for it.
It may seem counterintuitive and in a way it is, but at heart it is tied to you being confident as a male and that my friend is an erotic allure that no healthy minded woman can resist. In such a relationship you will receive her affection for your confidence as respect, which is what every married man needs to have from his woman in order to feel loved.
I would be entirely remiss if I did not point out a third variety of Christian wife to be. She is easily the most dangerous of all since she is a chameleon of sorts and a player to men’s fantasies.
Coolly and with calculation she will mimic the actions of the right kind of a Christian wife almost down to a ‘T’.
She’ll listen to you, in the beginning anyway.
She will ask your opinion, in the beginning anyway.
She will kiss you like the passionate actress, she is and she will make you believe that heaven’s pleasures await you if you only slip your expensive ring on her finger.
The first kind of wife material mentioned can well lead to heartbreak and un-fulfillment perhaps ultimately even resulting in divorce. Even in that drudgery of existence I still see a somewhat redeemable aspect because I believe that women of the first category, who to start out are just too nice and righteous to put up with their men’s natural male yearnings, can and indeed often have been awakened by God to their own shortcomings as a mate.
I do not see such a positive aspect existing in this last variety of female that you may have in consideration of for a mate. In a word I view them as evil.
Truly, they may appear far different on the outside and if you have the misfortune of marrying one you may be the only one who will ever see the utterly shallow, vindictive, and self-interred evil core that such women are at heart. They are liars and cheats and they attach themselves to men in order to feed off their life source, until they have exhausted the man of everything he is much like some species of spider where after the male has mated the female, she then turns around and attacks him to the death only to then implant her eggs into him so her babies can use their father’s body as their first available food source.
I’ve often wondered why God created such a brutal function as this in some spiders to come to be and now I think maybe perhaps it was to serve as a literal example of just how some women can be in regard to their mates. Another trademark of these women is an utterly possessive mindset that if they can’t have you then no one will have you and they will do everything in their power to hurt you physically, emotionally, and spiritually, especially if they believe you’re about to reject them or have wisely already done so.
Trust me, these creatures that I really don’t even want to give the credit to of being women, will thrust the dagger in deep and with a smile twist it about hoping to make a bigger hole to ensure you perspire, while in the meantime receiving the final joy of seeing your agony up close and personal. These witches are easily avoided if you have one thing firmly in place, a close relationship with God.
As always with any prospective mate, you should humble yourself and put the desire you have for the woman as a mate before God and ask, “Can I have this girl?”
If it’s a ‘yes’ then full speed ahead and, yes, please do remember to be a caveman with at least some manners. Notice I don’t say, gentlemen, Christian men have been gentlemen for far too long, until the point has been reached that so many of you are nothing but gentle and that seriously just does not cut it in a relationship that requires you to be strong and man up in order to lead your family in the way it should go.
Now, if you get a ‘no’, then be obedient and trust that despite whatever your eyes are telling you, God is seeing something else. Man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart and the hearts of some women are pure evil incarnate, while others are simply too immature to even be a wife and yet others are simply too warped by social programming to ever make you a good match despite whatever their body might look like.
Incidentally, not hearing anything back from God is also an answer, and it could be best interpreted as, ‘no’, or possibly, ‘not yet’, it’s best to just assume ‘no’ and pursue nothing further with the girl and I really…….. really mean that. Women are the spice, often the greatest of joys and best of all companions in a male’s life, but they despite however important and integral they may become to you are never the purpose for your life to exist.
You exist for God’s benefit along with whatever work it is that He’s called you to do in this life. If He gives you a great mate to go along with helping you in your divinely appointed work, then receive her with gladness and enjoy her as the awesome gift that she is, but she’s just an aspect of your life and never should she become the main focus of it.
Unfortunately, today and perhaps it’s always been so, women are taught and believe that everything should be about them. They completely trash the notion of being both a helpmate and something created secondary to man.
To clarify, I am not stating that a woman’s soul before God is of lesser standing than a man’s, Jesus died equally for all. I am saying that women were made to occupy a position in relationship with man of a lesser standing, hence the reason for their submission and the male’s dominance in order to make the relationship function as God intended for it to and outlined in His Word.
Many modern women have completely rebelled from this entirely Biblical framework of the way things should be between men and women and if you have any hope of finding the right mate, you better be right with God, my friend, because even if one doesn’t exist for you He can make you one and in reality that is exactly how He started out things in the beginning. Don’t you dare doubt that He isn’t as powerful or creative as He was in the beginning of time in order to do something likewise miraculous in the here and now.
Any relationship meant to succeed requires faith and in the man’s regard it should be him, placing his faith in God and out of that closeness of relationship the woman will in turn know that placing her faith in her man is safe to do. Until you do have your faith founded in and resting on God you have no business, my Christian friend, of looking for a mate, because you are spiritually immature and incapable of being the man that a woman needs most in order to be all the wonderful things God created her to be for the man as his truest and most loyal helpmate.
If you, like me, made a mistake early on then the beauty of the power of the God we serve is that there is still hope for those of us who weren’t wise when we started out, but have become so as we have been redeemed out of our situations and indeed now have the wisdom to go into the future with our eyes open and focused on God, even as we have been redeemed from every prison that sought to bind us and little by little are now delivered into glorious ecstasy.
Attributes of a Godly Stud
A Godly stud is a man of passion tempered by the control of his faith over his life that subjects everything to be laid at the Father’s feet in humbleness.
A Godly stud is a survivor of hell’s attempts to throw the kitchen sink at him more than once.
A Godly stud isn’t one obsessed about being pretty or most things that the world calls cool.
A Godly stud seeks to eliminate his weaknesses through humility and celebrate his strength through faith.
A Godly stud is passionate about what excites him and pursues it aggressively and yet remains responsible to remain at heart what God has instructed him to be.
A Godly stud knows how to love and asks of God for the help needed to become even better at loving others.
A Godly stud prepares and makes ready for a fight to defend his own before even a battle line is drawn or a rumor of war even whispered.
A Godly stud never lies and cheating, he considers to be an abomination never chosen.
A Godly stud works hard to ensure that the needs of his own family are met and his desire is to bless them with even more.
A Godly stud seeks grounded control in his life outside of any ability of his own strength by going to the One who made him and knows all and is the giver of all good things.
A Godly stud knows the value of being kind and employs it generously in everything he does.
A Godly stud knows humility comes to all at some point in life.
A Godly stud craves to sire and raise children, even as he will gladly die to protect them.
A Godly stud longs anxiously for the presence of his mate to be near for she to him is heaven sent peace.
A Godly stud does not compromise his faith and moves for no man, but God alone does he obey.
A Godly stud seeks understanding and knows that it is found through being humble.
A Godly stud runs the race set before him with everything he has.
A Godly stud has little patience for foolishness, but a great tolerance for one who seeks to learn.
A Godly stud craves a woman’s appreciation and her devotion to him is his food.
A Godly stud does not share his woman.
The Righteous Wife who gets ‘It’
A righteous wife seeks out pleasure for her stud and gives it with a cry of delight.
A righteous wife obeys her commitments over seeking out the things she prefers in the moment.
A righteous wife’s praise of her stud are words well-placed and they will give her a place of honor forever in his heart.
A righteous wife fears God, but trembles with delight in the hands of her stud, who is her earthly master.
A righteous wife bears forth children with delight to the stud, who first gave them to her, by pressing his seed in deeply.
A righteous wife loathes an evil word spoken of her stud and is his eyes and ears when he is not near.
A righteous wife seeks to please her stud at all times and her desire is his pleasure.
A righteous wife works hard to feed her children and she sleeps in contentedness held by her stud all night long.
A righteous wife prays for her stud and seeks against him no ill will.
A righteous wife listens to her stud’s desire, but obeys the Creator of them both over any command of her stud given in errancy of the Word of God and in doing so she may save them both.
A righteous wife is a delight to the stud who holds her breast in his palm and sees that her smile is for him.
A righteous wife cries out praises to her Creator and submits herself willfully to her stud’s possession of her.
A righteous wife’s crown of honor is a stud that will move heaven and earth to save her.
A righteous wife’s lips are at home upon the cock of her stud and his seed is her drink.
A righteous wife lets her stud possess all of her, even her ass, as no discomfort is too much in order to please him and she is not bound to him for her pleasure’s sake alone.
A righteous wife offers her breast to her stud’s suckle, even if his touch causes tears, her nipple remains in his lips for her breasts are his.
A righteous wife keeps her anus clean and her vagina sweet smelling in readiness for her stud to kiss both of them.
A righteous wife keeps her butt tight through hard work and her body well proportioned and filled out by healthy eating.
A righteous wife seeks to make her stud smile and his laughter is a golden sound to her ears.
A righteous wife is her stud’s favorite plaything and his delight in her is more precious to her than pearls.
A righteous wife never denies the caress of her stud, as she realizes she is not her own, but his.
A righteous wife’s joy comes out of the seed of her stud brought to life within her.
A righteous wife’s sexual fulfillment comes out of being filled with the shaft of her stud and with heartiness she accepts all of his seed.
A righteous wife’s lips are eager to see to the pleasing of her stud by word or any act desired.
A righteous wife’s mouth is a sweet cave of delight for her stud and her tongue plays with him.
A righteous wife’s wink of invitation is a wonder of the world for her stud to see.
A righteous wife’s body aches for the will of her stud to be wrought upon it.
A righteous wife trains her daughters to be as she is and serve their husbands in like order.
A righteous wife’s end is but the beginning of something beautiful as her fruit remains, and goes on long after she is gone.
A righteous wife’s place is at the feet of her stud’s will for her and it goes well for her if she listens.
A righteous wife inquires of God as to how to serve her stud better and God increases her favor for doing so.
A righteous wife acts out of love and considers not the cost taken of herself trusting that she will be well cared for in return.
A righteous wife speaks softly and demands little and even so her wishes are always met.
A righteous wife stands proudly within the arms of her stud for she is in a sure place and not one of the lost.
A righteous wife aches for her stud’s completion of her and together their desire builds the future.
A righteous wife seeks no harm, but encourages only, and gives a cautionary word when needed.
A righteous wife is not jealous of others but does her own part to serve her stud well and in like order it goes well with her.
A righteous wife’s orgasm is sweet when it is gained through pleasing her stud.
A righteous wife’s monthly period is an excellent time to offer her stud her ass, morning or night.
A righteous wife’s laugh is well pleasing when her stud knows it is for him she sings of joy and he will do his best to only increase her pleasure.
About the Author
There are many mysteries in this world and……
Aedan (Born of Fire)
Sayla (Stop & Listen)
........ is one of them.
Aedan’s Blog: Musings
A Rebel’s Persuasion – Free Erotic Story, which can only be read at Origins of Love.com
Goodreads Page: Come visit, rate/review books, and feel free to check out and join as a member in the Goodreads Group I started entitled,